Are You Being Unreasonable

On the day that you were born, you had all the inherent strength, goodness and wisdom you would ever need. All that you required were the tools to access it. These two skills –nurturing and limits—are those tools. – Laurel Mellin, EBT founder


Oh my gosh…it’s been forever. Yes, I have been MIA for a few weeks now. Typically I like to update the blog with a new recipe or inspirational post on a weekly basis, however, sometimes, that’s just not reasonable. What a perfect segue into today’s topic – reasonable versus unreasonable expectations. Before jumping in too quickly, I’ll update you on the why behind my absence. First, we’ve been getting work done on our house. It’s getting a makeover or facelift if you will. In addition, we’ve had an issue come up with plumbing – ugh! More importantly though is that I’m getting married May 1 and my priorities have shifted as you can imagine! 🙂 There have been lots of to-do’s from setting up the venue, coordinating with the videographer, finding a dress and everything that goes along with that! It’s been wonderful, overwhelming at times, but overall my days have been filled with excitement! Going back to our topic, with a list of new responsibilities of course my priorities had to shift temporarily.


I’m called to write about this today because I have found when I name an unreasonable expectation it gives me an opportunity to identify a reasonable one to replace it with and an opportunity to relieve stress,  achieve greater balance and actually achieve my goal, which in the end is typically related to a higher level aim like being in balance, having peace, joy, connection and vibrancy. In addition, being a health coach and working in the wellness field, I work with clients who constantly are battling with what they should or shouldn’t be doing in order to fulfill typically what is an unreasonable expectation. Here are some more common unreasonable expectations that I often see and or hear.

*It’s unreasonable that I am happy because I have weight to lose. When I lose this weight, I will be happy (enter also a specific number of pounds that should be lost, i.e.: when I lose 15 pounds). When I lose the weight, I will go out for dinner with the girls. When I lose weight, I will go shopping for new clothes.

*It’s unreasonable that I go to a barre class (or any other type of fitness class) until after I lose weight (if this is you, you must speak with April at Xtend Barre – she is great & will assure you that you are not alone and should come have fun & try a class; it’s a very supportive environment).

*It’s unreasonable that I take care of myself, I must take care of everyone’s needs first. (Hello ladies and especially moms…time to make the shift)

*It’s unreasonable that I take time for self care, I am not worthy. 

*It’s unreasonable that I share my feelings and needs, I do not exist…my needs and feelings are not important. 

*It’s unreasonable that have joy, life is all about working hard. 

Do any of these ring true for you? If so, perhaps write down what comes up for you in a journal and just start to grow aware of how often you are setting unreasonable expectations or acting based on them. Living with these unreasonable expectations, our lives are burdened with an even greater amount of stress (who needs more of that!) and we never really have the opportunity to move forward and fulfill our higher purpose. It’s like living in a constant battle with oneself, wanting to do better and make the change, yet our underlying expectation and belief  prevents us from taking the necessary steps. I’ll leave you with this for now, but stay tuned because I’ll talk about how to create reasonable expectations in relation to your health journey in an upcoming post!

If you’d like to explore this topic more, I highly recommend checking out Emotional Brain Training. If these unreasonable expectations listed above are true for you and impacting your progress with your health goals, I’d love to chat! Set up your FREE Jumpstart Session and let’s get started!!

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