What Feeling Inspires the Goal?

NewYearAffirmation-NL-315x300The New Year is a popular time to take inventory on what you have and what you’d like to have (not necessarily materialistic items, but things like meaningful connections, a fulfilling career, etc.) and where you’re at and where you’d like to be. Many set goals that they feel will move them closer to living their best life. Common goals are to exercise more, get healthy, lose weight, save money, take a trip, manage stress, and perhaps even change jobs or start a business. These are all great aspirations.

What happens however is that too many times our spirit to accomplish the goals wanes after the first few weeks of the New Year. We get sucked into our old patterns of thinking and doing. We miss an opportunity to workout and we feel defeated. We go crazy eating too much cake at a party. We yell at our loved one because we’re not taking time to de-stress. When this happens we think “**** it…I screwed up, I’m done…it was worth a try.”

If you’ve been following me over the last couple years as my blog has changed names and evolved into an element of my health coaching business (lizashlee.com then blissfulpursuit.com and now as part of elizabethdennison.com), you might have gathered that I am driven kinda gal (naturally fulfilling my Capricorn tendencies). When a goal comes to mind that I want to pursue, I’m all in. Just like you, however, if I don’t reach that goal, I feel disappointed, discouraged, and upset to some extent.

Recently, I had the opportunity to listen to an interview, 4 Steps To Set Goals With the Soul, on Marie TV with the lifestyle expert Marie Forleo and the spiritual goddess, Danielle Laporte. Danielle provided pearls of wisdom with goal setting with the primary one being this: we’re not actually looking to attain the goal itself, we are chasing a feeling that that goal will provide, something that Danielle refers to as ‘core desire feelings’. Simple, yet profound.

So, as you’re pondering your resolutions this year, I vote that we all dive a little deeper and get a little more real with ourselves in order to truly rock our mission and attain that feeling behind the goal.

That being said, here is an example of how to dive deeper into the why. If your goal involves weight loss, ask yourself why you want to lose the weight? Is it to attain a sense vitality, sexy, lightness? If your goal is to take a trip, ask yourself why? Does taking a trip invoke a sense of  spirituality, freedom, relaxation?

Another significant point from the interview that served as a great reminder is that we cannot expect that others bring our core desire feelings to us. If one of our core desire feelings is love, it’s not that everyone necessarily starts showing up with more love for us. For example, if you get into an argument with a loved one or colleague and you seek ‘love’ then you must be willing to bring that quality to the situation; perhaps, you choose to forgive the person and move forward, rather clutching to your control of being right.

It’s so important to take a little extra time to plug into our goals and the desires behind them that drive us. Once we do this, we have so much more clarity and ability to see them through. When we drift off our path of attainment (which is totally normal and part of being human), reminders posted about on sticky notes may serve as a cue to help redirect us back to our path to experience our core desired feelings. When this happens, it’s so important to not be too hard on yourself. We are such harsh critics!

Related to this, one more pearl here – ‘contrast is how we learn.’ I couldn’t agree more. It is my moments of driving so hard, pushing myself to attain a goal where I veer off path and attempt to control a situation and after noticing this, I pause and  exhale, thanking this feeling for its reminder that ‘oh yeah, one of my core desires is freedom.’ From here, I can relax into my purpose knowing that everything works out and falls into place for my highest good.

Did this post or the video resonate with you? What is one of your core desired feelings?

Wishing you and your loved ones a happy, healthy 2014 filled with love and joy!

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